Liberty Just in Case

A Dialogue for the September 12th World

Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Things Learned From Being A Foster Parent

Posted by Mark on February 25, 2008

In doing some research for a client, I came across some life lessons. Being a foster parent is a special calling. Not everyone can do it, and those that can seldom do it for long.  All 19 can easily apply to one’s own children as well…

1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing transformer underwear and a superman cape.   
2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.   
3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, “Uh-oh,” it’s already too late.   
4. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.   
5. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.   
6. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak – it explodes.   
7. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.   
8. Some things will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old that you’d imagine would remain in him or her.   
9. Super glue is forever.   
10. TV and Videos can teach us many things we don’t want to know.   
11. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.   
12. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.   
13. DVD players do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.   
14. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.   
15. The fire department has at least a 5 minute response time.   
16. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.   
17. It will however make cats dizzy.   
18. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.   
19. The average dog can eat at least 20 homework assignments in a school year per child.

From Foster Parenting Training. com

Posted in children, Culture, foster care, Funny, parenting | Leave a Comment »

Jeff Dunham … Comedy Genius

Posted by zaphriel on November 23, 2007

Achmed the Dead Terrorist

Posted in 9/11/01, Comics, Funny, Islam, Politics, War and Terror | 2 Comments »

Giving Thanks Without Liability

Posted by Mark on November 21, 2007

An important document for all “hosts” at Thanksgiving. Tie a bow around it, and put at each place setting.

HT to Jerry Agar of WLS for this one.

Posted in Funny, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Happy Father’s Day!

Posted by Mark on June 15, 2007

Hello Fellow Americans! Now obviously today is not Father’s Day. But I’m going to be gone all next week so I have to do this now. My Dad is Mark. I’m going to call myself Lexie. Anyway…
I was searching Liberty Just in Case for some ideas for a Father’s Day present. I’ve been reading some of his entries to look for some deep, dark secret I could exploit. From what I read, he doesn’t swear much and he talks on the computer exactly the way I hear him talk. I just found that really cool. I’m glad that I didn’t find out anything like a split personality or whatever. I’ve come to appreciate that a lot more since I’m 14 now. My Dad understands that I’m growing up. He knows that I’m developing my own interests and knows that I’m not going to stay home forever. Even though he jokes around that he’s going to lock me in the closet when I turn 16. hee hee. I hope. I wanted him to know how much I seriously do care by plastering it all over the internet. Just something nice I really wanted to do for him.
Lastly, I just wanted to say thanks. I want to say thanks to all the Americans who read this blog. It’s given my Dad a lot of confidence about the fact that there are still people out there who don’t want us to pull out of Iraq. And maybe, just maybe, there’s a small percentage of humans who think global warming doesn’t exist. Thanks a lot America and thanks Dad. I love you,

LEXIE

If you’ve ever heard Bob Carlisle’s song Butterfly Kisses, then you have some idea just how special the relationship is between my daughter and I. She couldn’t have given me a better Father’s Day gift…now I have to figure out how she got past my security screens and passwords to be able to post to my blog…sigh…:-)

Posted in Funny, Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

Where Have All The Funny Cards Gone…

Posted by zaphriel on March 29, 2006

I came accross this story this morning. Some of these rejects are just hillarious.

Included among the discarded messages are Christmas cards:

FRONT: “Spread some holiday cheer.”

INSIDE: “Or drink alone. Who am I to judge?”

FRONT: “Christmas just wouldn’t be the same without peanut brittle.”

INSIDE: “Or Jesus.”

Read More Here

Posted in Fun, Funny | Leave a Comment »

Weekend Funnies – Karate… or something like it.

Posted by zaphriel on March 25, 2006

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Fun, Funny, Video | 1 Comment »

Weekend Funnies – Why I don’t Hang Glide…

Posted by zaphriel on March 18, 2006

Posted in Fun, Funny, Video | 2 Comments »

St. Patty’s Day

Posted by Mark on March 17, 2006

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland ”

The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”

The first guy says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”

The other guy answers, “I’m from Dublin , I am.”

The first guy responds, “Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin ?”

The other guy says, “A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.”

The first guy says, “Faith & it’s a small world, so did I! So did I!!
And to what school would you have been going?”

The other guy answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s of course.”

The first guy gets really excited and says, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”

The other guy answers, “Well, now, le t’s see, I graduated in 1964.”

The first guy exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 me own self.”

About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head & mutters, “It’s going to be a long night tonight!!!!”

Vicky asks, “Why do you say that, Brian?”

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

Posted in Funny, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

And Now for Something Old…

Posted by zaphriel on February 24, 2006

Another thing I wished would go away…

But since it didn’t… Lets look at some more cartoons on the subject…

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There now is trouble in Malaysia… Over that cartoon… This from Michelle Malkin
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Posted in Funny, Islam, War and Terror | 1 Comment »

Weekend Funnies

Posted by zaphriel on February 18, 2006

I know posting is slow on the weekend, but that’s no excuse… so I’m gonna try this this weekend, and if we all like it, maybe it will continue.

Drug War Field Report

Should we keep this feature? let us know, leave comments, please.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Fun, Funny, MSM, Video | 2 Comments »