HEY…You Can’t Talk to My Bitch That Way!

Charlie Rangel and Nancy Pelosi DEFENDING George Bush? Are you kidding me? Someone get me a Q-tip….I’ve got to clean my ears:

Two of President Bush’s staunchest domestic critics leapt to his defense Thursday, a day after one of his fiercest foreign foes called him “the devil” in a scorching speech before the United Nations.

“You don’t come into my country; you don’t come into my congressional district and you don’t condemn my president,” Rep. Charles Rangel, D-New York, scolded Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-California, was blunt in her criticism of the Venezuelan leader. “He is an everyday thug,” she said.

“Hugo Chavez abused the privilege that he had speaking at the United Nations,” Pelosi said. “In doing so, in the manner which he characterized the president, he demeaned himself and demeaned Venezuela.”

The transparent HYPOCRISY here is sublime.

What the liberal loons are really saying is….it’s quite okay for America’s Democrats to call the president every name in the book…but it’s NOT okay for you. In street language it goes something like this:

“Hey Mo-fo…don’t be talkin’ to Dubya like that….he’s MY bitch!”

But Can He Make the Trains Run on Time?

 Playing the part of Benito Mussolini in World War 3.0 is Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela. And, he makes book recommendations too!

Representatives of the governments of the world, good morning to all of you. First of all, I would like to invite you, very respectfully, to those who have not read this book, to read it. Noam Chomsky, one of the most prestigious American and world intellectuals, Noam Chomsky, and this is one of his most recent books, “Hegemony or Survival: The Imperialist Strategy of the United States.” [Holds up book, waves it in front of General Assembly.]

It’s an excellent book to help us understand what has been happening in the world throughout the 20th century, and what’s happening now, and the greatest threat looming over our planet. The hegemonic pretensions of the American empire are placing at risk the very survival of the human species. We continue to warn you about this danger and we appeal to the people of the United States and the world to halt this threat, which is like a sword hanging over our heads. I had considered reading from this book, but, for the sake of time [flips through the pages, which are numerous] I will just leave it as a recommendation.

Dodged a bullet on that one. Hearing Benito..er…Hugo read Noam Chomsky would be a bit like hearing the whine of a dental drill without anesthesia.

But then, Hugo makes a faux pas that must surely have had the ACLU filing Separation of Church and State briefs right and left. (Well, maybe only left, now that I think of it.)

It reads easily, it is a very good book, I’m sure Madame [President] you are familiar with it. It appears in English, in Russian, in Arabic, in German. I think that the first people who should read this book are our brothers and sisters in the United States, because their threat is right in their own house. The devil is right at home. The devil, the devil himself, is right in the house.

And the devil came here yesterday. Yesterday the devil came here. Right here. [crosses himself]

And it smells of sulfur still today.

Crossing himself in public! How gauche. But then, considering he appears to be suffering from both visual and olfactory hallucinations, I suppose we can excuse it. And the ACLU will certainly excuse this excess of “religion” considering the devil he refers to is…

Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the president of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as the devil, came here, talking as if he owned the world. Truly. As the owner of the world.

I think we could call a psychiatrist to analyze yesterday’s statement made by the president of the United States. As the spokesman of imperialism, he came to share his nostrums, to try to preserve the current pattern of domination, exploitation and pillage of the peoples of the world.

Yep. Benito/Hugo refers to none other than George W. Bush. Can’t argue with Hugo’s desire to call for a psychiatrist though. Speaking as a mental health professional, the form of paranoid delusions Benito/Hugo and his pal AminaWhackjob of Iran aren’t generally treatable, even with powerful anti-psychotics.

But, at the end of ‘ole Hugo’s ramblings, he says something we can all agree too:

And maybe we have to change location. Maybe we have to put the United Nations somewhere else; maybe a city of the south. We’ve proposed Venezuela.

Hugo and company are welcome to the UN. New York developers could use the space for something useful, like a shopping mall.

And finally, Hugo finishes with a flourish. Comments in italics are mine. I’m thinking you probably knew that…

You know that my personal doctor had to stay in the plane. (With the thorazine, awaiting my return) The chief of security had to be left in a locked plane. (In my private padded, rubber room, with the restraints unlocked in case I need them quickly.) Neither of these gentlemen was allowed to arrive and attend the U.N. meeting. This is another abuse and another abuse of power on the part of the Devil. (In the words of Reagan, there he goes again) It smells of sulfur here, (Ahem, olfactory hallucinations anyone?) but God is with us (No Hugo. That’s just the men in the clean white suits coming to take you away ho! ho! hee! hee! ha! ha!) and I embrace you all. (Ummm, I’m thinking a handshake is more than enough. Yuck)

So there you have it. Benito/Hugo at his wackiest. And who says war can’t be fun?