Liberty Just in Case

A Dialogue for the September 12th World

This is True – October Edition

Posted by zaphriel on October 31, 2005

TOP OF THE NEWS: An unnamed newspaper carrier in Jacksonville, Fla., was confronted by a man who said the carrier had forgotten to deliver his newspaper. When the 56-year-old carrier asked the man for his address to check his list, the man responded by pulling a gun. “Give me a paper,” he demanded at gunpoint. The carrier handed over a paper, then called police. Officers found Christopher M. Cooper, 26, hiding in a cooler at a gas station, a gun in his car, and marijuana in his pocket. He was charged with armed robbery of the 50-cent paper, and drug possession. (Jacksonville Times-Union) …Actually, the more interesting edition of the paper was the next day’s, which contained this story.

DRIVEN: “He had no idea he had been involved in an accident,” said St. Petersburg, Fla., police officer Mike Jockers. But indeed Ralph Parker, 93, had hit a pedestrian on a busy street at about 45 mph. The 52-year- old man smashed half-way through Parker’s windshield — and stayed there as Parker kept driving. He drove, apparently unaware of the body, until he got to a bridge’s toll plaza, three miles away. The toll taker thought the body on the car was a Halloween prank until Parker stopped to pay the toll — and the body slid the rest of the way through the windshield. When police asked Parker where the dead body in his car came from, he said it must have “fallen out of the sky.” Police took Parker’s license from him (it doesn’t expire for five more years) and will ask the motor vehicle department to conduct a competency hearing toward revoking it permanently. (St. Petersburg Times) …One down, tens of thousands left to go.

DEAD MEAT: Diane Johnson, 74, of Ormond Beach, Fla., was pretty shocked by what she found in a pork loin she got at a local supermarket: a bullet. A spokesman for Publix grocery stores said the chain is perplexed: they scan their meat with a metal detector before it goes on the shelf. And he couldn’t explain how a bullet would get into grocery meat in the first place. But the store doesn’t have to brace for a lawsuit: “I don’t plan to sue anyone because no one got hurt,” Johnson said, noting she was quite satisfied with the $10 refund from the store — and a replacement roast. “I hope there’s no bullets in it,” she said. (AP) …No lawsuit? Well there you have it: Florida really IS a strange place!

PAY ATTENTION! Cliffton Hassam, 16, was in class at East Ridge High School in Clermont, Fla., when the little box on his belt started beeping. Substitute teacher Richard Maline demanded that Hassam hand it over, but Hassam refused. So Maline grabbed it and yanked. It wasn’t a cell phone or pager, as Maline apparently figured, but rather an insulin pump; the beeping was to alert Hassam, a diabetic, that his blood sugar was at a dangerous level. Hassam got the device back and hooked up before he suffered ill effects, and Maline was fired by the school. “When we train our substitutes, that’s one of the items we cover,” a school spokesman said. “We specifically train our substitutes on this particular device.” (Orlando Sentinel) …Yeah, but did you give him a quiz afterward to ensure he had met the “learning objectives”?


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: